Forbidden Fruit

I loved you from the first minute I tasted you, From the first time you looked at me with those eyes, From the first time you put your hand on the small of my back Your touch has instilled a sensation I have never been able to shake A burning, yearning deep within my core. […]

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I named this blog dark and dirty because it comes from the darkest and dirtiest places in my life. The darkest and dirtiest things I had to experience, things that I do not wish on anyone. You have no idea how hard it is to write about all the feelings I worked so hard to […]

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My heart is starving, Starving for love, Starving for passion, Starving for you, Whoever you may be. My heart is starving, For a connection so deep, The ocean would be jealous, And the moon would shine brighter, Just to help me, maybe get a glimpse, Of you, Wherever you may be. And as I look up […]

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Kitchen floor.

I sit on the kitchen floor and cry But where are you when I need you You don’t understand my pain You tell me i’m crazy When all I need is shoulder to cry on Someone to hold me and tell me its ok You tell me i’m dramatic When I all I need is […]

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Nothing alike… Right?

My boyfriend can’t handle my past, he can’t stand to envision all the pain I endured. I watch him cringe every time he tries to read my writing. But I know the truth… He cant stand the thought of another mans hands around my neck. They are nothing alike, except when we are in bed, […]

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So Raw.

I try to be rational at the idea That you can love me and only me But no one has ever loved me Unconditionally I try to take my pain out on you But it was never you who hurt me You are not them   Still I am terrified to let you in I […]

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Last Breath.

Breathe in, “Look at me” he says Breathe out, “I said look at me!”   Breathe in, “You’re nothing but a whore” he says Breathe out, “Do you hear me, you whore?”   Breathe in, “I should kill you right now” he says Breathe out, “No one would even miss you”   Breathe in, “This […]

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I’ve always felt these demons following me where ever I go. I try to run but my feet don’t take me fast enough. I turn and see you there. I try to scream but the words don’t come out. You place your hands around my neck and I let you squeeze hard, waiting for the […]

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Are you scared?

“It could take you years to actually face what has happened. And numerous more to overcome it.” – Carol Sides It’s been about 10 years since the last time I was hit by you. The last time I was put in the hospital, the last time MY daughter’s life was jeopardized. It’s been 10 long […]

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